lets start fresh

Are you the type of writer who uses words as a lighter
To ignite flames on fire as a means to inspire?
Or are you the type of write who writes for herself
For peace of mind, creativity, and mental health?
Are you the type of person who’s quite sure and certain
That you can’t stand writing, reciting, and rehearsing?
Or are you that hidden talent in the back of the class
Who loves to tell stories, but no one cared to ask
Are you a future journalist, playwright, or poet
Developing your skills and you might not even know it
Are you an emcee who’s listened to the greats
And writes rhymes with his ipod, records, and tapes?
Are you an essay writer? Or do you prefer fiction
Concrete, abstract, vivid descriptions
Let’s use these words to document real life
Collect your thoughts, grab a pen, sit down and write

Here's my little story about why i want to start blogging again...

my parents are different from your average rentals. well at least from what i hear from my friends. they talk to me and my sis. i'm not sure if this is a good thing or not because, if it's good: they see eye to eye with me on stuff like the injustice of school "policies" and other important stuff too. if it's bad: they give you a good long pep talk and they're on your side the whole time BUT they give advice to change your ways in order to resolve the problem, and sometimes that change isn't very fun. at the end of the conversation, you always feel WAY less mature than you thought you were at the beginning. then, at the end of each conversation they finish off with a 'keep trying bev! you'll see the changes!'and a thumbs up.

that was briefly what happened to me about 25 minutes ago. So now i'm all psyched up to start shaping up my junkie-like lifestyle.
i know how this always turns out. one night i'm sitting at home(this usually happens at night, before bed) reflecting on life, how mine is slowly degrading because i don't give a damn and i know it but can't be bothered to do anything about it, and i become all determined and start planning out what i'm gonna do. But then the next day, every thing's gone. the feeling isn't there anymore, so i go back bumming around not giving a damn. i hate the way it always ends like that. and nothing is being changed in the end., but that's the way i am.
i know, i know. you're thinking: you idiot, it's all about YOU making the decision to change!
i know that too. But it just keeps ending the same, i can't help it. i'm always too tired.
yeah, teachers think i'm on drugs.
Maybe though, if i so happen to actually follow through this plan, all there's left to do is keep up the pace. i'm a terrible runner though, 5 minutes in and i go out like a candle.
sad, i know. But that's actually part of my new plan: start running again. now there's one that going to be hard to keep to. ugh, wish me luck.
hopefully, i'll wake up tomorrow and remember the FEELING of tonight. sigh...
maybe i'll post again tomorrow, depends on whether i've already started changing. great.